Saturday 31 March 2012

He said / she said: Is it wise to back with your ex?


He said / she said: Is it wise to back with your ex?  Let's talk about getting back together with your ex, right? This is wonderful, a downward spiral sure we've all tried to go at least once before. You would ideally like to be writing this with a glass bottle of wine with me, but - unfortunately - I have my desktop and it's only 11:20. Not the best conditions for the day drinking and giving advice. But I have no opinion on it, which was perfected through observation and personal experience.
First things first, please understand that I am a masochist. My feelings are a lot of damage. I'm stubborn. I think I know what is best for me and for everyone else. I want to fix things. I am a big fan of sleepovers that end with a brunch. What I'm saying here? In essence, go back into a broken relationship between sounds to me like a fun adventure full of personal challenges, a good makeup sex, and guarantees to eggs Benedict. What's not to love? Well, as I learned the hard way (twice), a number of things.
Do not forget that the reason we broke up.
Is so, so easy to look back at the past relationship with rose-colored glasses. You idealize their own struggles ("We were both so young and passionate!"), Falla ("drunken tirades was great!") And the way you want to go completely crazy ("just trying to increase the spontaneity of relationship. ") The truth is that, unfortunately, this is not true. Old problems are likely to continue to exist, now is a question of whether both have had enough free time to handle things better than last time.
People change. And not always in the way you want.
You will not pick up right where you left off. Have you had much time for yourself to experience life and grow as individuals, separately and date around and sleep with strangers, and to do all these things people are doing together. When one grows, changes. And it is wonderful! No one with a gun to your head saying you have always loved ice cream gum, boyish smile Jonathan Taylor Thomas and sweet melodies of his solo career, Nick Lachey. Tastes and needs, and wants to develop. The same is true of the ex-boyfriend. (Although I hope for your sake do not ever have had any of the above.)
It's easy to fall back to the old struggles, uncertainty and bad habits.
Actually, it should be obvious, but if your ex cheated on you last time, not taken back by accident. Not necessarily because it is cheating a second time (although it could be), but as the old doubts will bubble as a new insecurity. A clean slate, usually accompanied by new boyfriend does not really apply when you get back with your ex. Bro still chew their food loudly and tongue kisses too. And they still hate. If you want new ways to treat, go find a new man.
But sometimes it really works.
Now, I am convinced that back together with your ex does not work, I will be very controversial to say that in some cases, it really can work. A good example is when a neutral outside force caused to break. For example, if you fell apart, as it became a long distance relationship, if one of you or someone you completed was too much on his plate, such as school and sports, and 100. In these cases, is not necessarily something that someone actually caused the separation. It was just a bad time and the difficult logistics.
Another good reason to come back with someone: .. Because they both want, and you can always ask "what if" if you do not just go and pass "discover for yourself all that you do not have to be a good idea we can just accept that mistakes are okay? I have come situations many times when I was 99% sure that things will end badly. But it was curious that the mystery of 1%, and I needed to be sure before writing someone off or something good.
So here is what I leave. No, it is probably a good idea to get your ex back. But who cares? Before installing the bridge on fire, go ahead and try one last time.What you have to lose?

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